I just had an inspiration to write today and put to words what is going on in my mind. As a mother I am always faced with countless responsibilities that I find it difficult to get some rest on a Saturday afternoon. My mind is busy thinking about life and my kids.
On a regular day I would consume most of my time working on 2 jobs that I struggle to fit in time to attend to the needs of my family. Then lately I am having this anxiety that I am not spending enough time training my now adolescent children.
I have become acutely aware of their lives and how time has gone by so fast and here I am finding myself not ready. I should have been more prepared by now to teach my children life valuable lessons, but instead I realised I wasted a lot of my time bickering about the small little things that my children does that I find annoying.
I should have been more like a kung fu master; patient, disciplined and determined to mould the characters I would want my students to learn. But I realised I am not. I have spent a great majority of my time focusing on the things that will pass away and on the things that will not really matter.
I have 4 kids, my son who is 18, 2 girls aged 15 and 13 and my youngest son who is 9. I really can’t believe that they’re all grown up by now and in just a few more years will become a fully independent person with the capacity to decide for their own. And I’m scrambling, at a loss for words for the years that have gone by.
In retrospect, I am taking an inventory of what have I already taught them. Looking deeper and beyond their immaturity, I see things I wish I could have spend more time teaching. There’s still so much more to teach, still so much more to mould into their character.
I suddenly felt the need for a change and become more conscientious. Be less busy and more available physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually for they are God’s gift and I have been tasked to look after their welfare.
I cannot continue as a distracted parent, nor can I afford it. The time we live in is the most deceitful one that even the adults are getting trapped and have become a distracted version of themselves – not really here or there. Distracted!
The greatest thing we can do as a human being is to touch and influence others with our life and this is more true with our kids. But if I remain distracted to what truly maters, how can I influence them? As a parent, we all worry about our finances and our never ending responsibilities. But today listening to the “still small voice” I hear the Lord telling me to refocus.
Spend more time teaching, listening and understanding my children’s needs. To tell them of a coming future with God and how this world, with all it’s beauty will one day fade away.
And so if you are like me a parent who finds yourself exhausted at times, remember to cherish every moment spent with your children. Take a deep breath and if needed, begin again. Start over again and pray. Soak yourself in the presence of the Lord and in His words and find strength to help guide our children become a person that God wants them to be.
What truly matters to me? To teach my children to fear the Lord and honour Him with their lives and in so doing, I pray that they will not depart from it.